He has been unmoving all morning,
every morning there on the bench
on the sidewalk that looks
out over the street,
cars and trucks going by,
a highway that goes through town
And he sits and never looks up
as I pass him, his eyes hidden
under the brim of his cap,
an old man who wears a cardigan
in all weathers, a shriveled mouth partly open
like stalled speech
But this time I ask him how he is,
such listless stares might be a sign
of some unwellness for I have seen
the old ones, how they shut down,
nothing to do but fill in the days
waiting for the end
It is soon, I am sure,
as he is stooped
and flecked with the spots of his age
and I wonder if that is all there is to life,
languishing like that makes me sad
Yes, I have pity for the way his life
has turned out,
he says that he counted
a thousand cars yesterday,
a great feat it sounds like,
but a trivial thing really,
eyeing the stream of tourists and locals
from the shadows
But he goes on and tells me
that his name is Mack and he takes
great joy in coming down
to that bench every morning
Then I understand what he said,
what he did not say
and it makes me feel like a fool
for my assumptions
I know nothing for the thousand cars
are the cars that were his,
cars of friends
and cars that he coveted,
cars with his memories inside,
first dates, that first time,
running across the border
for beer on Sundays,
a thousand cars that he passed
on the many roads of his life
and the lives that brushed by him,
nearly killed him,
killed a friend, a brother,
a thousand cars
that are long gone, vanished,
left to his memory traces
He is more than old skin
he is a visionary, a seer, he knows
the purpose of his life,
knows where it leads,
what is essential, what love truly means
A thousand cars and a thousand ways
to meet grace
in presence and stillness
and in the faces looking back
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
Looking for Home
I have been searching for my home,
like Homer vying the unfamiliar waters
until shouts of landfall spill from parched lips,
ready to celebrate my victory
As if there is only patience to overcome,
a certain mitigation to wanting
and never thinking to look at the ground
beneath my feet
You will say as the mystics so mindfully announce,
to be wherever you are,
fully present and alert,
there the pilgrim will find his home
Sadly this does not work for me,
the longing lingers like a burning thing,
scalds my sensibilities over and over
until sorrow is my home
I have arrived human and driven,
to be something I am not,
and to be where I do not want to be,
until the world lays me down at last
like Homer vying the unfamiliar waters
until shouts of landfall spill from parched lips,
ready to celebrate my victory
As if there is only patience to overcome,
a certain mitigation to wanting
and never thinking to look at the ground
beneath my feet
You will say as the mystics so mindfully announce,
to be wherever you are,
fully present and alert,
there the pilgrim will find his home
Sadly this does not work for me,
the longing lingers like a burning thing,
scalds my sensibilities over and over
until sorrow is my home
I have arrived human and driven,
to be something I am not,
and to be where I do not want to be,
until the world lays me down at last
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Reflections of Fools
A cafe window
and a face turns
to the streets of enterprise
There beyond the smeared glass
rain drips over the sheltered places,
a seamless grey world
that haunts ambition,
the muted toll of tomorrow
that never comes
Still there
is a quiet contentment
in the faces of coffee-shop thinkers
Mindful sorting out
gives birth to intention
A pause in industry
is the mortar of creativity,
a place to brood over fools
and workplace woes,
sanctuary to the somber days
A gift of solitude and hot steam
where the soul is restored
in the depths of passion
and the day yearns for itself
through the crying panes
and a face turns
to the streets of enterprise
There beyond the smeared glass
rain drips over the sheltered places,
a seamless grey world
that haunts ambition,
the muted toll of tomorrow
that never comes
Still there
is a quiet contentment
in the faces of coffee-shop thinkers
Mindful sorting out
gives birth to intention
A pause in industry
is the mortar of creativity,
a place to brood over fools
and workplace woes,
sanctuary to the somber days
A gift of solitude and hot steam
where the soul is restored
in the depths of passion
and the day yearns for itself
through the crying panes
Monday, April 18, 2011
Losing a Brother
I saw you today,
stove-warm eyes looking away
and the articulation of nose
and jaw and shadow,
that quality of familarity
like a signature rising
from your dead sleep
I saw you today
sitting alone by the window
gently blowing the scalding slick
from your coffee, there in the
charitable beams of the sun
listening to the soft talk of strangers
surrounding you like gauze
I saw you today
turning to love that person next to you
then gloom swiftly quilting your face,
a newspaper stained with your tears
from a world gone mad,
a world that spoke to you
some language of sorrow's end
I saw you today
sliding your fingers down
the granite stone inscribed with your name,
there on my knees, shivering with your breath
like whispers upon my neck,
on that bench above the river
entrusted to magpies and sighing firs
I saw you today
in the ten thousand things
that you touched without me
stove-warm eyes looking away
and the articulation of nose
and jaw and shadow,
that quality of familarity
like a signature rising
from your dead sleep
I saw you today
sitting alone by the window
gently blowing the scalding slick
from your coffee, there in the
charitable beams of the sun
listening to the soft talk of strangers
surrounding you like gauze
I saw you today
turning to love that person next to you
then gloom swiftly quilting your face,
a newspaper stained with your tears
from a world gone mad,
a world that spoke to you
some language of sorrow's end
I saw you today
sliding your fingers down
the granite stone inscribed with your name,
there on my knees, shivering with your breath
like whispers upon my neck,
on that bench above the river
entrusted to magpies and sighing firs
I saw you today
in the ten thousand things
that you touched without me
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Balsam Root
Sunflowers smiling in the hills,
they could no longer
hold in their yellow grins
All dry and sage in the valley
where the vineyards
haven't run them out
I will go see them when the snakes rest
among the olive leaves,
the wooly arrowheads
One day in the not too distant future
someone sipping a fine merlot
might remember a wilderness
they could no longer
hold in their yellow grins
All dry and sage in the valley
where the vineyards
haven't run them out
I will go see them when the snakes rest
among the olive leaves,
the wooly arrowheads
One day in the not too distant future
someone sipping a fine merlot
might remember a wilderness
Friday, April 15, 2011
Touching
A daughter joins her mother
at a table beside me
All smiles as if it has been some time
I notice how she touches her,
a hand on her back
sliding down the curved years
Over the wounds of sacrifice,
those places never to be revealed
Secreted to old memories
like the smell of cherished things
I imagine she keeps in a cedar chest
like a phantom limb
A hand, five fingers loving
the hump growing
between her thin shoulders
Hard bone through colourful print
Her hand never leaves
A healing hand, a tender hand,
the touch of a daughter
that mothers long for,
the reconciliation of generations
I cannot look away
for I am part of this,
weeping inside for such moments
that could heal the world,
deliver the observer to timelessness,
the rapture of the innocent
cradled in the space of reverence
at a table beside me
All smiles as if it has been some time
I notice how she touches her,
a hand on her back
sliding down the curved years
Over the wounds of sacrifice,
those places never to be revealed
Secreted to old memories
like the smell of cherished things
I imagine she keeps in a cedar chest
like a phantom limb
A hand, five fingers loving
the hump growing
between her thin shoulders
Hard bone through colourful print
Her hand never leaves
A healing hand, a tender hand,
the touch of a daughter
that mothers long for,
the reconciliation of generations
I cannot look away
for I am part of this,
weeping inside for such moments
that could heal the world,
deliver the observer to timelessness,
the rapture of the innocent
cradled in the space of reverence
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Apples in Bloom
blossoms,
an apt word
for the pubescent
folds of white-velvet
cupping the stamens
and anthers pollen dusted
and erect
for the earnest bees
an apt word
for the pubescent
folds of white-velvet
cupping the stamens
and anthers pollen dusted
and erect
for the earnest bees
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